1. Blog. Obviously.
2. Read through my AT&T Mobility bill to figure out why my first-month iPhone charges were so freakin' high. Do they think I can crap $20 bills?
3. Jump rope. I don't like to jump rope, but it's better than doing laundry.
4. Do laundry. I hate doing laundry, but it's better than washing dishes.
5. Wash dishes. I hate washing dishes, but it's better than sorting coupons.
6. Sort coupons. I need to see a psychiatrist so I can stop saving them.
7. Polish my crystal monkey. Why are his feet so tiny?
8. Cuddle with my cats.
9. Review mm stats in Google Analytics.
10. Ponder Nietzsche.
11. Read Go magazine's article on the upcoming Upstate Challenge "Mud" Run. I suspect that some people at work got together and voted me "Most Likely to Perform Masochistic Acts for the Sake of a Laugh," because I keep getting asked to join the department's team.
12. Flip through Link magazine. A new coffee house near Furman has a cool monkey logo.
13. Watch "The Biggest Loser."
14. Plan a new upper body regimen so I can have kickass-girl arms like Jillian on "The Biggest Loser."
15. Polish my Powerbook.
16. Download new desktop images for my Powerbook.
17. Google other people's perversions. Now, what's that thing called again where a man shoves his entire head into.... ?? Oh, never mind. I think I'd rather do my taxes. Let's try #17 again.
17. Eat Reese's Cups. If I had some, I would eat them right now. A bunch of them. Yum!
18. Talk to my cats. They meow back.
19. Meow at my cats. They meow back.
20. Go to bed and dream of being rescued by the tax fairy.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
So what's a baloney pony?
Lunchtime conversation
Me: "I need another diversion."
A: "Buy an outfit and fight crime."
Me: "Did you say 'fight crime'?"
A: "Yep."
Me: "And did you say 'buy an outfit'?
A: "Yep."
Me: "What sort of outfit would I need to fight crime?"
A: "A superhero outfit."
Me: "Ohhhhh, I see. What could be my superhero name?"
A: "I don't know. I'm sure you could think of a good one."
Me: "What sort of crime could I fight? How about laziness?"
A: "No, that's not a good one. I like to be lazy."
Me: "Yeah, me too. Hmmmmm....."
A: "Hey, I know. Redneckery."
Me: [ giggle ]
A: "You could go into a restaurant and say, 'Hey YOU, wearing the camo tank top! You're outa here, buddy!'"
Me: [ belly laugh ]
A: "And... 'Hey YOU with the mullet! There's the door!'"
Me: [ snort-laugh ] "And after I kicked them out, everyone left in the place would stand up and cheer. I WOULD be their hero!"
Later, inside my head
That conversation with A would make a good blog post.
I really should come up with a good superhero name, though, before I write it.
I'm not feeling that creative right now, unfortunately.
Plus....something else isn't quite right.
Redneckery is petty darn funny, but might there be a more appropriate crime to fight?
Something more unique to me?
Hmmmm.
What type of crime or disservice would I be qualified to combat?
What am I good at?
Well. There's innuendo.
But how could I fight innuendo?
Why would I want to, anyway? It's funny.
I mean, it's hard to beat a good "bigger is better" statement in the middle of a staff meeting.
Or during cycling class: "By the time you leave here, you'll be limp and spent."
Or after cycling class: "Yeah, I know it was hard, but let's be honest -- it wasn't long."
Or when talking to a friend about shopping: "I really love BJ's."
Or when talking about toys at work: "Hey, why don't you bring your balls to our meetings?"
I wonder if it is technically innuendo when it's truly an innocent statement.
I'll have to look that up sometime.
Hey.....wait.
I could be onto something.
That could be my superhero spin.
I could defend the innocent people in the world who spout innuendo without meaning to.
I can jump in and kick the butts of the mean people who laugh at them and make them feel bad.
Who better than me?
Since I am a queen of deliberate innuendo, I'd be able to recognize accidental innuendo immediately.
I could come to the rescue with superhero speed, yeah!
[ knock knock ]
What's that?
[ knock knock ]
Is that someone else in my head? Who are you?
[ I'm your conscience, Lisa. ]
Geesh, what do YOU want?
[ You realize, don't you, that you've laughed at these people yourself since 1978? ]
I wasn't laughing at them. I was laughing with them. There's a difference.
[ Explain that difference. ]
Well.....I'm not mean about it like some people are.
[ Lisa, you should examine your.... ]
Oh, shut up.
[ Lisa.... ]
Go away. There's a box of donuts over there in the corner.
Subsequent e-mail chain
Me, to X and Y: If I were a superhero, what would be my name?
X: Seriously?
Me: Actually, allow me refine the question: If I were a superhero who fought crime in the form of accidental innuendo, what would be my name?
Y: In Your End, Oh!
Me: I am falling out of my chair, ha! I'd hate to see what my outfit would look like.
X: Hilariass.
Me: If I fall out of my chair again, I’ll need to go to the doctor for a coccyx exam.
Y: Hil Hairy-Ass
Me: OK, I’m going to have to leave work early. I hope Dr. Long can fit me in.
X: Is she Richard Long’s sister, Anita S. Long?
Me: I am hyperventilating in my office! The trash dude just came in and now he thinks I am insane.
X: Is her practice on Grove Road, next to the Wang & Hung practice?
Me: I thought she practices with Dr. Hardenfast.
X: Oh, that's right... and Sly Downhum.
Y: And triplets Lou, Bree and Kate.
X: Aren’t those Dr. Jellifinger’s kids?
Y: Ho, ho. That’s what happened when the rubber didn’t meat those who were rode.
Me: Hey, did you hear that Dr. Jellifinger divorced his wife to marry acupuncturist Sum Pun Tang?
X: Did you know that she’s the sister of the Asian porn star Ty Twat?
Y: Who happens to be allergic to kumquats and baloney ponies.
Me: "I need another diversion."
A: "Buy an outfit and fight crime."
Me: "Did you say 'fight crime'?"
A: "Yep."
Me: "And did you say 'buy an outfit'?
A: "Yep."
Me: "What sort of outfit would I need to fight crime?"
A: "A superhero outfit."
Me: "Ohhhhh, I see. What could be my superhero name?"
A: "I don't know. I'm sure you could think of a good one."
Me: "What sort of crime could I fight? How about laziness?"
A: "No, that's not a good one. I like to be lazy."
Me: "Yeah, me too. Hmmmmm....."
A: "Hey, I know. Redneckery."
Me: [ giggle ]
A: "You could go into a restaurant and say, 'Hey YOU, wearing the camo tank top! You're outa here, buddy!'"
Me: [ belly laugh ]
A: "And... 'Hey YOU with the mullet! There's the door!'"
Me: [ snort-laugh ] "And after I kicked them out, everyone left in the place would stand up and cheer. I WOULD be their hero!"
Later, inside my head
That conversation with A would make a good blog post.
I really should come up with a good superhero name, though, before I write it.
I'm not feeling that creative right now, unfortunately.
Plus....something else isn't quite right.
Redneckery is petty darn funny, but might there be a more appropriate crime to fight?
Something more unique to me?
Hmmmm.
What type of crime or disservice would I be qualified to combat?
What am I good at?
Well. There's innuendo.
But how could I fight innuendo?
Why would I want to, anyway? It's funny.
I mean, it's hard to beat a good "bigger is better" statement in the middle of a staff meeting.
Or during cycling class: "By the time you leave here, you'll be limp and spent."
Or after cycling class: "Yeah, I know it was hard, but let's be honest -- it wasn't long."
Or when talking to a friend about shopping: "I really love BJ's."
Or when talking about toys at work: "Hey, why don't you bring your balls to our meetings?"
I wonder if it is technically innuendo when it's truly an innocent statement.
I'll have to look that up sometime.
Hey.....wait.
I could be onto something.
That could be my superhero spin.
I could defend the innocent people in the world who spout innuendo without meaning to.
I can jump in and kick the butts of the mean people who laugh at them and make them feel bad.
Who better than me?
Since I am a queen of deliberate innuendo, I'd be able to recognize accidental innuendo immediately.
I could come to the rescue with superhero speed, yeah!
[ knock knock ]
What's that?
[ knock knock ]
Is that someone else in my head? Who are you?
[ I'm your conscience, Lisa. ]
Geesh, what do YOU want?
[ You realize, don't you, that you've laughed at these people yourself since 1978? ]
I wasn't laughing at them. I was laughing with them. There's a difference.
[ Explain that difference. ]
Well.....I'm not mean about it like some people are.
[ Lisa, you should examine your.... ]
Oh, shut up.
[ Lisa.... ]
Go away. There's a box of donuts over there in the corner.
Subsequent e-mail chain
Me, to X and Y: If I were a superhero, what would be my name?
X: Seriously?
Me: Actually, allow me refine the question: If I were a superhero who fought crime in the form of accidental innuendo, what would be my name?
Y: In Your End, Oh!
Me: I am falling out of my chair, ha! I'd hate to see what my outfit would look like.
X: Hilariass.
Me: If I fall out of my chair again, I’ll need to go to the doctor for a coccyx exam.
Y: Hil Hairy-Ass
Me: OK, I’m going to have to leave work early. I hope Dr. Long can fit me in.
X: Is she Richard Long’s sister, Anita S. Long?
Me: I am hyperventilating in my office! The trash dude just came in and now he thinks I am insane.
X: Is her practice on Grove Road, next to the Wang & Hung practice?
Me: I thought she practices with Dr. Hardenfast.
X: Oh, that's right... and Sly Downhum.
Y: And triplets Lou, Bree and Kate.
X: Aren’t those Dr. Jellifinger’s kids?
Y: Ho, ho. That’s what happened when the rubber didn’t meat those who were rode.
Me: Hey, did you hear that Dr. Jellifinger divorced his wife to marry acupuncturist Sum Pun Tang?
X: Did you know that she’s the sister of the Asian porn star Ty Twat?
Y: Who happens to be allergic to kumquats and baloney ponies.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
I don't think it's a partridge in that pear tree
Me: "Hey, have you ever heard of a cum tree?"
S: "A what?"
Me: "A cum tree."
S: "A country?"
Me: "No, a cum tree. Two words. A cum tree."
S: "A cunt tree?"
Me: "No, a cum tree. C - U - M... T - R - E - E."
S: "Um. No."
Me: "So you've never smelled one?"
S: "Nooooooooo.... What are you talking about? Is this a euphemism for a penis?"
Me: "No, it's a tree. Outside. A tree."
S: "Oh, it's an actual tree?"
Me: "Yeah."
S: "Is that the actual name of it?"
Me: "No, I don't know what kind of tree it is. That's what I was wondering. Some friends called it a cum tree a few years back while we were walking through downtown Asheville. That's when I smelled it the first time."
S: "You know, now that you mention it, I used to take drives to Chicago, and on the way I would always smell...jizz."
Me: "Man juice."
S: "Baby batter."
Me: "Spooge."
S: "Man relish."
Me: "Guy goop."
S: "I thought maybe the smell was some type of...I don't know...onion, maybe."
Me: "Well, I smelled it again recently. Took me awhile to realize what it was. At my gym the other day, we dragged our bikes outside for a spinning class, and I kept getting a whiff of...something. Then I realized we were underneath those trees."
S: "I wonder what kind of tree it really is."
Me: "Dunno. Googled 'cum tree' last night, but plant-related results didn't land near the top."
S: "Hey, you should ask J. She is a master gardener, you know."
Me: "That's right, she is! And she will know what I'm talking about because she was the class instructor that day. Perfect, I will ask her."
S: "Please make sure I'm there when you do. And make sure other people are standing around, too."
Me: "Come on, let's do it now. J and M are both sitting in the next room."
So we walk over to find J and M talkin' shop at a small conference table...
Me: "Hey, J--we've got a question for you."
J: "Yes?"
S: "There's a tree...that has a particular....smell...."
J: "You mean a Bradford pear tree?"
Me: "Are those Bradford pear trees outside the gym?"
J: "Yes, they are."
S: "Does the tree...have a nickname?"
J: "Hmm?"
S: "Do people call it a cum tree?"
M: "Oh, I know what you're talking about. It smells like semen."
J: "You know, it's funny. Some people can't smell it at all, but the ones who do smell it, think it reeks--no one actually likes the smell. It is a very popular tree, though."
S: "Oh, yeah? Why?"
J: "Well, for one thing, it grows very fast."
S: "Really, it grows fast? Does it grow very tall?"
J: "Yes, quite tall and straight. It also has a nice shape and an early bloom."
S: "How interesting. And the top of the tree--does it get pretty full? Plump? Like it has a big head?"
J: "Oh, yes. It gets very full. Sometimes it gets so heavy that it falls over."
S: "You're kidding me. It will fall over, limp?"
M: "Like it's had too much to drink?"
J: "Correct. Or it may break."
S: "So sometimes the trunk is not strong enough?"
J: "Correct."
S: "Wow. That is interesting."
Fast facts
According to Clemson University's online Home & Garden Information Center, the Bradford pear tree...
- Grows up to 50 feet tall and 30 feet wide.
- Has a narrow and erect canopy.
- Is a rapid grower, but has a short life span.
- Sprouts showy white flowers in the springtime which, unfortunately, have an unpleasant fragrance.
- Also bears small, round, brown fruit which are hidden by the leaves.
- Can be used in urban settings because of its tolerance to pollution.
- Is relatively free of insect problems, but can suffer from severe branch splitting.
- Requires low-to-medium fertility.
- Tolerates most conditions, including occasional wet soils or drought.
S: "A what?"
Me: "A cum tree."
S: "A country?"
Me: "No, a cum tree. Two words. A cum tree."
S: "A cunt tree?"
Me: "No, a cum tree. C - U - M... T - R - E - E."
S: "Um. No."
Me: "So you've never smelled one?"
S: "Nooooooooo.... What are you talking about? Is this a euphemism for a penis?"
Me: "No, it's a tree. Outside. A tree."
S: "Oh, it's an actual tree?"
Me: "Yeah."
S: "Is that the actual name of it?"
Me: "No, I don't know what kind of tree it is. That's what I was wondering. Some friends called it a cum tree a few years back while we were walking through downtown Asheville. That's when I smelled it the first time."
S: "You know, now that you mention it, I used to take drives to Chicago, and on the way I would always smell...jizz."
Me: "Man juice."
S: "Baby batter."
Me: "Spooge."
S: "Man relish."
Me: "Guy goop."
S: "I thought maybe the smell was some type of...I don't know...onion, maybe."
Me: "Well, I smelled it again recently. Took me awhile to realize what it was. At my gym the other day, we dragged our bikes outside for a spinning class, and I kept getting a whiff of...something. Then I realized we were underneath those trees."
S: "I wonder what kind of tree it really is."
Me: "Dunno. Googled 'cum tree' last night, but plant-related results didn't land near the top."
S: "Hey, you should ask J. She is a master gardener, you know."
Me: "That's right, she is! And she will know what I'm talking about because she was the class instructor that day. Perfect, I will ask her."
S: "Please make sure I'm there when you do. And make sure other people are standing around, too."
Me: "Come on, let's do it now. J and M are both sitting in the next room."
So we walk over to find J and M talkin' shop at a small conference table...
Me: "Hey, J--we've got a question for you."
J: "Yes?"
S: "There's a tree...that has a particular....smell...."
J: "You mean a Bradford pear tree?"
Me: "Are those Bradford pear trees outside the gym?"
J: "Yes, they are."
S: "Does the tree...have a nickname?"
J: "Hmm?"
S: "Do people call it a cum tree?"
M: "Oh, I know what you're talking about. It smells like semen."
J: "You know, it's funny. Some people can't smell it at all, but the ones who do smell it, think it reeks--no one actually likes the smell. It is a very popular tree, though."
S: "Oh, yeah? Why?"
J: "Well, for one thing, it grows very fast."
S: "Really, it grows fast? Does it grow very tall?"
J: "Yes, quite tall and straight. It also has a nice shape and an early bloom."
S: "How interesting. And the top of the tree--does it get pretty full? Plump? Like it has a big head?"
J: "Oh, yes. It gets very full. Sometimes it gets so heavy that it falls over."
S: "You're kidding me. It will fall over, limp?"
M: "Like it's had too much to drink?"
J: "Correct. Or it may break."
S: "So sometimes the trunk is not strong enough?"
J: "Correct."
S: "Wow. That is interesting."
Fast facts
According to Clemson University's online Home & Garden Information Center, the Bradford pear tree...
- Grows up to 50 feet tall and 30 feet wide.
- Has a narrow and erect canopy.
- Is a rapid grower, but has a short life span.
- Sprouts showy white flowers in the springtime which, unfortunately, have an unpleasant fragrance.
- Also bears small, round, brown fruit which are hidden by the leaves.
- Can be used in urban settings because of its tolerance to pollution.
- Is relatively free of insect problems, but can suffer from severe branch splitting.
- Requires low-to-medium fertility.
- Tolerates most conditions, including occasional wet soils or drought.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Neverdone #2 :: Running with the devil
I can't prove it. But after careful consideration of all the possibilities, I've concluded that I must be possessed by a sadistic devil.
Maybe it's the ghost of someone who has recently passed away, someone I was mean to in my younger days. I was a pretty sweet kid until I hit my early teens....I wish I'd known back then that my rebellious, selfish little 13-year-old attitude might one day create some pretty dire consequences. Or maybe it's someone I knew in college, back when I was so intent on pursuing my newfound freedoms that I didn't notice I'd injured someone's feelings quite badly. Or maybe it's not personal after all....maybe it's just a mischievous entity that came across my deviant, slothful soul completely at random.
How do I know I'm possessed?
It's Saturday. The one morning of the week I cherish as my relaxation time. For a few tranquil hours, I sit on my blue couch while sipping freshly brewed coffee, cuddling with my cats, surfing aimlessly on my laptop, and watching TV shows I'd DVR'd throughout the week. If I feel particularly productive, I might blog some sort of nonsense. I protect this time. I decompress from the energies of the previous week. I "meditate" through mindless, stress-free, brain-resting, low-key activity.
But last week, I did something that will effectively end my blissful ritual throughout the entire springtime. It'll force me out of my happy, comfortable home at a freakin' obscene hour every single Saturday morning for the next 12 weeks. I will roll out of bed before 7am... slide into, ahem, *athletic* clothes... skulk, bleary-eyed, into my car... and drive 20 minutes across town to have someone chase me up and down the streets of Greenville at, I'm guessing, 5-7mph.
I signed up for a group running program.
I would never do this of my own free will. My weekends have always, always been about sleeping as late as possible and putting out only enough effort to get me through whatever idle amusements may strike my lazy-ass fancy. To get up and get dressed and leave the house before 8am when I don't *have* to? Not possible! To go through all that in order to do something NOT gratifying in an immediately pleasure-inducing way?? I must be possessed!
I know the running is good for me. So perhaps I won't seek an exorcist, allowing the devil to stay warm and snug within me. Maybe the vile little thing will create some other sort of havoc, too, to keep me entertained in the coming months. You know how I hate to be bored.
Hey, now I've got a devil AND a pixie! Awesome.
Anyway.....
This morning was our first run, in a cool, sprinkling rain which, by the time we were done, had my hands numb (why did I leave my gloves in the car?) and my hair soaked. To my surprise, I performed pretty well, but I'm not expecting that to last. Within a few weeks, I'm sure my cardiovascular system will suffer in ways I haven't experienced since basketball practice in high school. But, if I'm successful in the program, it'll lead to another neverdone -- my first 5K!
We'll see how it pans out.
( Don't know what a 'neverdone' is? Click here >> * )
Maybe it's the ghost of someone who has recently passed away, someone I was mean to in my younger days. I was a pretty sweet kid until I hit my early teens....I wish I'd known back then that my rebellious, selfish little 13-year-old attitude might one day create some pretty dire consequences. Or maybe it's someone I knew in college, back when I was so intent on pursuing my newfound freedoms that I didn't notice I'd injured someone's feelings quite badly. Or maybe it's not personal after all....maybe it's just a mischievous entity that came across my deviant, slothful soul completely at random.
How do I know I'm possessed?
It's Saturday. The one morning of the week I cherish as my relaxation time. For a few tranquil hours, I sit on my blue couch while sipping freshly brewed coffee, cuddling with my cats, surfing aimlessly on my laptop, and watching TV shows I'd DVR'd throughout the week. If I feel particularly productive, I might blog some sort of nonsense. I protect this time. I decompress from the energies of the previous week. I "meditate" through mindless, stress-free, brain-resting, low-key activity.
But last week, I did something that will effectively end my blissful ritual throughout the entire springtime. It'll force me out of my happy, comfortable home at a freakin' obscene hour every single Saturday morning for the next 12 weeks. I will roll out of bed before 7am... slide into, ahem, *athletic* clothes... skulk, bleary-eyed, into my car... and drive 20 minutes across town to have someone chase me up and down the streets of Greenville at, I'm guessing, 5-7mph.
I signed up for a group running program.
I would never do this of my own free will. My weekends have always, always been about sleeping as late as possible and putting out only enough effort to get me through whatever idle amusements may strike my lazy-ass fancy. To get up and get dressed and leave the house before 8am when I don't *have* to? Not possible! To go through all that in order to do something NOT gratifying in an immediately pleasure-inducing way?? I must be possessed!
I know the running is good for me. So perhaps I won't seek an exorcist, allowing the devil to stay warm and snug within me. Maybe the vile little thing will create some other sort of havoc, too, to keep me entertained in the coming months. You know how I hate to be bored.
Hey, now I've got a devil AND a pixie! Awesome.
Anyway.....
This morning was our first run, in a cool, sprinkling rain which, by the time we were done, had my hands numb (why did I leave my gloves in the car?) and my hair soaked. To my surprise, I performed pretty well, but I'm not expecting that to last. Within a few weeks, I'm sure my cardiovascular system will suffer in ways I haven't experienced since basketball practice in high school. But, if I'm successful in the program, it'll lead to another neverdone -- my first 5K!
We'll see how it pans out.
( Don't know what a 'neverdone' is? Click here >> * )
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Yo, Simon....click here
I realize that only a couple of you read magicalmonkey on a regular basis--so I'm probably not helping her out that much--but on the off chance that your name is Simon Cowell and you have stumbled upon this blog by googling something like "dimwitted pixie ass hair geocaching Barbie iPhone nipples," I'd like to turn you on to Brandy Lindsey & the Punch.
I'd known Brandy for many years as a freelance graphic designer before I ever knew she was into music. Then I discovered that she was a singer/songwriter/musician/composer in addition to being a talented print pro. I checked out a performance one night at a local club, and have been a big fan ever since. Remember those really superathletic people you used to know in school? Those lucky people who, no matter what physical activity they attempted, they excelled? Well, Brandy is one of those lucky people in the world of creativity. Impressive.
Nowadays I don't work with her in her freelance capacity, but she sings to me over my fun little Shuffle as I run. :)
Oh, and before she chastises me for not mentioning "The Punch," let me say that they rock, too! Here's their first video.
I'd known Brandy for many years as a freelance graphic designer before I ever knew she was into music. Then I discovered that she was a singer/songwriter/musician/composer in addition to being a talented print pro. I checked out a performance one night at a local club, and have been a big fan ever since. Remember those really superathletic people you used to know in school? Those lucky people who, no matter what physical activity they attempted, they excelled? Well, Brandy is one of those lucky people in the world of creativity. Impressive.
Nowadays I don't work with her in her freelance capacity, but she sings to me over my fun little Shuffle as I run. :)
Oh, and before she chastises me for not mentioning "The Punch," let me say that they rock, too! Here's their first video.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
A lazy post
Yeah, yeah.....this entry is a blatant cop-out, I know. The original content here is nil. But WHAT a hip little blend of funny, philosophical, and practical. You may find some words here which will change your life forever. Wow!
If it raises me a notch in your esteem, I do have a couple topics percolating. They've been.....smelling kind of nice in the mornings. Mmmmmmm. :)
If it raises me a notch in your esteem, I do have a couple topics percolating. They've been.....smelling kind of nice in the mornings. Mmmmmmm. :)
When my friend told me he had found Jesus, I thought, "Yahoo! We're rich!" But it turned out to be something different.
-- Jack Handey
A secretary runs into the boss's office and says "Can I use your dictaphone?" He says, "no, use your finger like everybody else."
-- Bernard Manning
You'll never achieve extraordinary results by taking average measures.
-- Skwigg
Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again.
-- Mike Myers
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
-- Franklin P. Jones
Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?
-- James Thurber
To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
-- Elbert Hubbard
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
-- Jack Handey
There are grammatical errors even in his silence.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec
I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.
-- Pablo Picasso
Monday, March 3, 2008
Crazy nerd fun
Whoa!! I am blogging directly from my freaky-hip new iPhone. This is the coolest geek-thing I've done since figuring out how OSX handles fonts.
My biggest frustration with the device is lack of MMS support. Geesh! The thing is a step away from time travel, and they didn't build in a feature that every $30 phone possesses. But then maybe Apple knows something we don't. Reminds me of the day they introduced a Mac with -- gasp! -- NO floppy disk drive. Everyone thought Steve Jobs was insane, but we missed those drives for about 3 minutes before they became obsolete.
There's a workaround, anyway. It's a minor pain in my ass, but I'll live. :)
And I'm getting used to the keyboard. Soon I'll be posting porn-star length entries from odd places like, um, my sister's barn or, ummmm, the upstairs restroom in Stephen Colbert's summer home.
Hey, I said 'porn-star length' again.
My biggest frustration with the device is lack of MMS support. Geesh! The thing is a step away from time travel, and they didn't build in a feature that every $30 phone possesses. But then maybe Apple knows something we don't. Reminds me of the day they introduced a Mac with -- gasp! -- NO floppy disk drive. Everyone thought Steve Jobs was insane, but we missed those drives for about 3 minutes before they became obsolete.
There's a workaround, anyway. It's a minor pain in my ass, but I'll live. :)
And I'm getting used to the keyboard. Soon I'll be posting porn-star length entries from odd places like, um, my sister's barn or, ummmm, the upstairs restroom in Stephen Colbert's summer home.
Hey, I said 'porn-star length' again.
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