Neverdone #9 :: Yeah, ahem....just call me "coach"

I've been holding back. Hiding information from you. Not talking about something big that's been going on in my world for the last 9 weeks.

Remember the "couch-to-5K" running program I joined in the spring? Well, after it was done, the head coach approached me and asked if I'd like to be a volunteer coach for the next group that they were planning. This one would begin in August and culminate in the Spinx Runfest 5K on October 25th.

Good lord! I was quite flattered, but suspected that he'd been smoking some sort of hippie-grown, hallucinatory substance which made gasping, aching, out-of-shape old women appear athletic.

"Ummmmmm....." I didn't know what to say. Geesh, how do you tell someone you don't know very well that he's delusional?

"You remember me from the group, right?" I began tentatively. "I'm the one who sounds like she has emphysema when she runs. I missed a chunk of the training runs because my lower body tried to quit on me. I am just trying to figure this running thing out myself...I'm still learning. I'm not qualified to be a coach, for heaven's sake."

He was adamant that he was talking to the right person. "You stuck with it," he said. "And your story will motivate others. You've come such a long way. Having gone through the program yourself, you can help others know what to expect. You'll set a great example."

I hesitated, hedged, questioned, and argued, but in the end I said yes. The biggest benefit I saw at the time was that it would keep me running....and accountable to my own workouts. I'd be one of three volunteers from the previous group to serve in a coaching role. (I'm gritting my teeth right now from the effort it's taking to NOT put quotes around the word "coaching.")

So -- just like that, I was committed yet again to leave the house at the crack of freakin' 7:30 every Saturday morning. I told myself I could be lazy on Sundays. There were also group runs Tuesday and Thursday evenings, and I was there for most of the Tuesday ones. I couldn't bring myself to skip my core-strengthening Thursday evening pilates classes.

Running as a coach was different from running as a participant. I wanted each person in the group to feel special, so during the runs I'd go back and forth among the different participants to touch base and "whooo-hoo!" them. It was great! In the process, I built up my own endurance and speed since I would run back to check on the slower-paced members, then run forward to catch up with the others again. On those days that I didn't feel like I got a good workout myself, I'd do an extra loop of intervals around the park after everyone else left.

As the weeks advanced, though, it became less about my own goals and more about the individuals in the group. It was SO cool to see their levels of fitness increase and the pride in themselves begin to soar. I remembered my own sense of empowerment when I first started to run and notice improvements, and it was heartening to see it happen in others -- and to be a real part of their motivation.

This was an awesome group! About 50 people showed up for the very first run, and half of them were with us on this Thursday's last training run (which is a great retention for this sort of thing, by the way). Their energy and enthusiasm has been contagious throughout the whole 9 weeks!

And how ELATED everyone was when they crossed the finish line this morning!!!! The fastest person in our group finished in just under 29 minutes, I think. She rocked! Most of us hung out at the finish line until everyone in our group completed the run.....and THEN we waited to cheer for our head coach as he finished the half-marathon. That's over 13 miles! I can't even imagine what it would be like to run that far. His race had started at 8am (our 5K started at 9am) and he finished sometime between 10:15 and 10:30, I think. Whew!

Me? The clock said 32 minutes and a few seconds or so when I crossed the finish line, which means my official chip time might be under 32. We'll see when the results are posted online.

During the run, I kept it at a comfortable pace the entire time. I didn't wear my iPod Shuffle -- I'd heard that they would not be allowing music devices in this race. That bit of intel turned out to be false, but it was interesting to experiment with a no-music run. I got into a breathing/stride rhythm that propelled me quite nicely. I didn't pay much attention to the scenery, but I have a vague impression that parts of it were pretty. I remember passing the Linky Stone children's park with its fun statues and happy, kid-enticing climb-on-me things.... I remember newly paved trails painted with Swamp Rabbit Trail logos beneath my feet.... I remember looping around Mayberry Park and coming within 40 feet or so of a geocache for which I'd been FTF (first to find) a few years back.

For the most part, I didn't pay much attention to my fellow runners, but I did watch for members of our group, being sure to emit an obnoxiously encouraging whoop when I saw someone.

There was one runner (a stranger -- not one of "us") who sounded like he was jamming on some bongos as he came up behind me. I glanced to my left as he ran beside me a few seconds, and he wasn't playing the drums or carrying any noisemakers, but he was dressed a little strangely. Was he wearing a tie? I laughed out loud -- as did several others around me -- when he moved a little ahead so I could see better. He was wearing one of those long-sleeved tuxedo t-shirts and had five or six empty water bottles tied to his waist, which were noisily bumping the ground behind him. On the back of his shirt was pinned a handmade sign which read, "I'm getting married today."

Haha!

It had been my intention to push harder at some point, but I lost track of where I was on the course, and I neared the finishing point long before I thought I should have. I did speed up a bit when I saw the clock in the distance, disappointed that it read 31 something. I'd wanted to get closer to 30.

What now? More races, baby! I'm going to do one in under 30 if it damn kills me. Many people in the group -- myself included -- are planning to continue meeting for the weekday and weekend runs, at least for awhile. Two weeks from today, there's another 5K which we may run together.

In January, another running program will begin, and many in the group are excited about joining it. There is a rumor that this group will train for a 10K. Yike-a-zoids! That'll put me back in the trenches with the non-coach gang, for sure. I think I'll do it, maybe not to run a 10K (I don't know if my lower body will be able to withstand the abuse) but to improve my 5K time.

As I write, it's about 5 hours since I finished the race, and I'm NOT all "tore up" like I was after the Candlelight run. Maybe that's a good sign.

I'm going to say it is, anyway.

(Wondering what a 'neverdone' is? Scroll down to check out the last post, or click here.)

It's neverdone planning time!

Wow, it's a landslide. ALL THREE of you said in my poll that you want to see more neverdones in 2009. :) Of course I still have to get through the rest of them this year....I have to complete four more to make my 12-in-one-year goal. Hmmmmmmm. Better get busy.

For those of you who would like a refresher or who weren't reading mm back then, a 'neverdone' is my happy little made-up word for something I've never done before. Last year I pledged to get in an average of one per month during 2008. Having changed my entire LIFE in 2007 by creating a healthier lifestyle, I wanted to make sure I didn't lose that spirit ....or the empowerment I felt from overcoming a hurdle or trying something new.

Anyway. It's time for another list, don't you think? I've repeated the previous items (wow, I hardly did anything on last year's list), come up with some new ones, and added some that you guys have suggested throughout the year. Does anything look fun to you? Surely something does. Do it with me! Come on, let's go!

run an 8K race
run a 10K race
try hardcore cycling
go on a lonnnnnnnng hike
do the mud run
enter flight school
play a paintball game
camp overnight on a beach
write a story based on family history
video my mom telling stories
do match.com
visit Yellowstone
do a kick-ass boot camp class
go on a cruise
go to a Mac conference
stay in an ice hotel
skydive
figure out how to live clutter-free
paint a mural
plant a garden
see the northern lights
take a wine tasting class
hop in the car and go on a long roadtrip -- no planning
do 100 girly-knee pushups
do 50 buff-boy pushups
be a member of a TV show audience
do Vegas
see a live drag queen show
visit an active volcano
fly to the edge of space in a supersonic jet
write my will
spend a whole day at a spa
go zorbing
attend a scifi convention
experience zero gravity
drive a race car -- fast
go on a safari
make a pilgrimage
knit something naughty
donate blood
volunteer during a holiday
take a fiction writing class
see the redwood trees in California
do a legal drug in Amsterdam
smoke a cigar to see what's the big deal
build an elaborate sandcastle
create my own website (blog templates don't count)
wax a body part
pierce an unusual body part
tattoo a body part
do something that scares me
karaoke
smoke a peace pipe
enter a juried art show
design my own apparel, then make it
script & shoot a short movie
send a postcard to Postsecret
earn a masters degree
learn to make sushi rolls
give someone else's perversion a try
visit Stonehenge
throw a dart on a map and travel where it lands
make paper
write a book
visit the Grand Canyon
ride in a hot air balloon
attend a Buddhist service/seminar/retreat
ride an animal bigger than a horse
attend Burning Man
take a multi-day train trip
visit the flagship Apple store in NYC
drive the Pacific Coast Highway

Wood

Yep, it's another email conversation, this time among P, S, and me....and G, even though she missed most of it.

A bit of backstory -- one of S's favorite phrases is that we all need to "sharpen the ax" regularly. Get out of the office...relax...kick back a little so we can come back to work refreshed, creative juices a-flowin'.

P: I am locked in my office with annual plans – GOING CRAZY – and wanted to know how everyone was doing? I have not stopped since I got here. S, the ax is dulling.
S: My blade fell off the handle. I’m chopping with just a wood stick in my hands.
P: I am right behind you.
Me: Wow. S has got wood in his hands. Chopping. Hmmmm.
P: You really do not want to chop. That could damage the wood. You could stroke the ax but that will cause blisters.
Me: AND I just noticed that P said she is right behind S! Is that appropriate for the office?
P: I can’t do much from behind.
Me: Well. That depends on your elevation in relation to the aforementioned wood.
S: Now THAT’S a lot of wood!!!
P: The more the merrier.
Me: Is more wood better wood?
P: Then you can just keep working all night.
S: Ewwwwwwww!!! Wood on wood!!!!
Me: Hmmmm, I’m getting a little excited. Might have to close my door for a bit. Again.
G: I just got back to my desk and see how much I have missed……..WOW!

I haven't abandoned you....

....it's just crazy-busy right now, and it's been hard to find time to write. And when I do have a bit of time, I'm either uninspired or so tired that I'd rather nap. Is this a good thing? I'm hoping. :)

Tonight I'm planning to experience a concoction called Hop, Skip, and Go Naked. Maybe there'll be an ensuing story.

In the meantime, following are some interesting thoughts about art and creativity. I agree with them all....what about you?

The job of the artist is always to deepen the mystery.
- Francis Bacon

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thing in art: the thing you cannot explain.
- Georges Braque

An artist never really finishes his work; he merely abandons it.
- Paul Valéry

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
- Scott Adams

I'm that blur whizzing past you on Upstate roadways

Friday nights are great for perusing online automotive sites..... Should I buy the glove compartment organizer for my PERFECT, hip little bulldog of a convertible race car? I'm thinking yes, considering my anal retentive tendencies. What about the super-convenient catchall cargo net for the microscopically cute li'l trunk?

Did you notice I said 'perfect' in the previous paragraph? I went online again after uploading the last mm post, and this time found the exact same car that was sittin' on Laurens Road.....but it was automatic. It was in Maryland, but if I paid Carmax $250, they'd plop it on a truck and send it to me. So on Monday, September 8, I gave 'em my credit card info to set the deal in motion. By the following Monday evening, the pretty little Mini was mine.

Turned out to be the best decision I could've made! I get a HUGE dopey grin on my face every time I sit behind the wheel. :D Ahhhhh..... motoring joy!

Are you disappointed that I didn't get the stick? Maybe this'll raise me a notch in your esteem -- the one I bought does have a manual/sport mode....and something called Steptronic (scroll down on this page for more info, if you're interested). I'm not sure how to operate it yet, or why I would want to, but it sounds impressive in the manufacturer's manual and some web pages I've found. Fast acceleration and mountain driving are mentioned, so I anticipate becoming quite intimate with it eventually.....

Neverdone #8 :: Workin' the stick, baby

I got a crash course this weekend in driving a stick shift! Whoo hoooooo!

Yesterday afternoon, I found myself sitting in the driver's seat of a small pickup truck, staring at the intimidating FOUR pedals near my feet. A friend's generous, patient, and knowledgeable brother G sat beside me.

Earlier that day, I'd done something I wish I hadn't. I'd read a how-to article and watched a YouTube video on how to drive a stick shift. It sounded way too complicated, which made me very nervous. But G made me feel better as he explained the theory of a manual transmission versus an automatic. It mostly made sense. The thing that stood out as the most practical bit o'knowledge was that pressing in the clutch allowed you to change gears.

Here we go

"Now," he said as we sat in his truck, "we're just going to go back and forth in the driveway first. Then we'll head out into the neighborhood."

Oh, he has no idea what he's gotten himself into, I thought to myself. Doesn't he know my synapses are not firing properly nowadays? Hasn't he ever heard that you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

"Put your right foot on the brake and your left on the clutch. Press both of them all the way in."

Yeah, OK. I can do that.

"Good, now let me watch as you go through the gears."

I do it. It's pretty easy to remember the locations, I thought.

"Great. Now put it in reverse, gradually ease up on the clutch, take your foot off the brake, and give it just a little gas. Then stop."

Oh good lord. He wants me to move it now. Take a deep breath. It'll be fine. Every single person you asked this weekend has told you it's easy, so there's no reason you can't do it, too. You're smart. You drove farm equipment when you were younger, right? Not exactly on a regular basis, but you did it.

Of course, it stalled on me the first time. And quite a bit thereafter. But we went through the driveway drills to his apparent satisfaction, because after a few minutes, he announced that I should back out of the driveway and go left.

Auuuuugh! Red light! Alarm! Danger! Code super-red!

"Um, do you promise that you have a very quiet, non-busy neighborhood?"

"Yep, you'll be fine. Let's go."

Deep breath. You'll be fine. Let's go.

And y'know what? I was fine. During the drive, G explained that it was pretty impossible for me to damage his truck -- or any vehicle -- while going through the typical learning motions. The types of damages I'd heard about in the past were usually the result of prolonged bad habits, not a stupidass girl-mistake during a single drive. I felt a lot better after that.

I did some things quite well, I think, because many times he said something like "beautiful....that was perfect." At one point he even said I was doing better than a lot of people on their first drives. And he liked that I stayed calm when I did make a mistake.

"Most beginners get in trouble on the road not because they can't drive. They wig out and get too upset," he said.

I handled my first hill without stalling and did an overall great job, G said, minimizing rollback on hills. At times I felt like I was really 'getting it.' I seemed to do much better when I wasn't thinking about it too hard.

Then....

Then came The Evil Stop Sign of Great Frustration and Torture.

In a pedicament

I'd stalled at many stop signs, but was usually able to get going again after a minor delay. I think I was letting the clutch out too quickly and giving it too much gas, at which time I did something -- not sure what -- which, in my head, might prevent a lurch. Well, at this one bedeviled stop sign, I could NOT get going again. Let's see if I can remember how many times I stalled by re-enacting my comments and expletives. To paint an accurate picture in your head, you'll need to imagine G snickering a little in the background. Then chortling. Then laughing.

"Well. There I go again." Restart. Stall.

"Crap." Restart. Stall.

"Dammit." Restart. Stall.

"Dammit, what am I doing wrong?" Restart. Stall.

"Dammit to hell!" Restart. Stall.

"Shit! I don't understand. What am I doing?" Restart. Stall.

"Fuck." Restart. Stall.

"Dammit to fucking hell." Restart. Stall.

"Motherfucker." Restart. Stall.

"Jesus!" Restart. Almost stall..... Damn. Stall.

"Goddammit, I don't get it!" Restart. Stall.

"Goddammit to motherfucking hell." Restart. Stall.

"Jesus motherfucking Christ." Restart. Almost stall.....

"Oh, no, the hell you don't!" Try to catch it.....sending a prayer to the manual transmission gods....

Yay, I finally made it happen!!! We were moving again.

Ending up all good

At the next stop sign, I spurned the brakes and only did a rolling stop because there was a family hanging out in a nearby yard. I refused to embarrass myself in front of actual people! I continued to practice my newfound rolling-stop talent until G made me stop again. Dammit. But I did that one OK, and no other frustration-filled, profanity-inducing stop signs presented themselves.

Another delay during the lesson involved a kid and his dog. No WAY was I going to get mobile again until both of them were far, far away from the truck. That wasn't a driving problem, though. Just an I-don't-want-to-kill-anyone thing.

Wondering why?

Want to know why I chose this weekend to learn to drive a stick? You see, my car died last week. I've been driving a rental since Wednesday, and am trying to make an informed, smart car-buying decision as quickly as possible. Saturday, I was enormously frustrated with the process when I ran across an online listing for the PERFECT little used Mini convertible, and it was sittin' pretty on the Laurens Road motor mile. I rushed to the lot without reading the fine print.

Turns out the car was perfect except that it had a manual transmission and I couldn't damn drive it.

I made a few venting phone calls, and to my surprise, several people said buy it anyway. A friend's sister learned how to drive her new car on the way home from the dealership. Another friend said he did the same thing when he bought his first car. Even my 83-year-old mom said driving a manual car was easy....."nothing to it!"

Hmmmm, so my quandary: should I spend thousands of dollars on a piece of equipment I don't really know how to operate?

I've come to a decision, I think, but there are still some things up in the air. I'm tired of writing right now, so stay tuned.

Hey. I just created a cliffhanger. :)

The fetal position, molasses, and temporary insanity

E-mails, e-mails. You never know which direction they'll turn....
X: Did you get a chance to see?
Me: Only a glance. I continued my trek to the bathroom and assumed the fetal position in the back stall.
X: Did you suck your thumb?
Me: Yeah. I wanted to suck my balls, but after fumbling around for a few minutes I remembered I don’t have any.
X: The bad thing about balls and the fetal position on the bathroom floor is that they (the balls) usually stick to the cold tile. Sucks!
Me: Do they have to be recently sucked in order for them to stick?
X: Oh no... They're usually sooo sweaty that they have the necessary moisture to stick to almost anything.
Me: How interesting. Would they stick to a banana?
X: They’d consume it! Especially with it's “blob-like” features during a thumb sucking moment like that... It’s all body temp.
Me: Yikes, they’d consume the banana? Peeling and all? Like Godzilla consumed Japan?
X: Like a slow-moving molasses.
Me: We should sic sweaty balls on all things we wish would disappear. There’s a painting I created 8 or so years ago as a group project with other artists.....it sucked, and I mean hard like a black hole. It is still hanging somewhere with my name on it. Could sweaty balls take care of it for me?
X: Like I said... It’s all about the body temp.
Me: Hmmmmm. Well, that’s about all the conversation I can eek out of sweaty balls. Got anything else to add?
X: Visuals and lab experiments?! Sorry, I’m not totally focused on balls right now. Have you asked others?
Me: No, I reserve sweaty-ball email conversations for you. Oh, wait....Y may have something to add. Y? (I cc'd Y)
X: Oh no you didn’t...?!!
Me: Hey, I’m stressed. It’s OK for stressed people to go a little insane. Perfectly acceptable. Right, Y? (I cc'd Y again)

Later....
Y: As a refined sophisticate, I only partake of perspiration-laced balls, which would never consider temporarily adhering themselves to a frigid surface (other than mine).

Followed by....
Y: As a refined sophisticate, I only go a little insane, which is perfectly acceptable as you so astutely note.