Yesterday I saw something abominable as I left the office after a busy workday. The automatic doors swung open, and it felt like I was walking into a stifling, steamy sauna. For a second, it was hard to breath. The air conditioning at my back was efficiently snuffed out, and, as I began walking toward my car, the sweltering Southern summer humidity clung to my skin almost wetly, sucking more energy from my body with every step I took. Mind you, this has not been an unusual feeling lately. All sorts of weather records have been broken this month -- we've had triple-digit temps like no one has seen in decades. Uggghh!
About 20 feet from my car, I innocently glanced to the left. You know, just your typical looking-around-as-you-stroll type of glance. I'd looked to the right mere seconds before, and survived the experience extraordinarily well. There was no way I could have been prepared for what I saw next.
Right there in our parking lot -- in front of God and everybody -- a man walked to his car, talking on his cell phone, wearing an argyle sweater over a long-sleeved dress shirt.
What in the expansive, blue heavens would possess someone to wear that in THIS heat?? Is his office located in a refrigerator? Does he have a personality disorder which compels him to wear only outfits found in the 1982 LL Bean fall/winter catalog? Does his always-cold, elderly mother dress him? Is he in a sexually explosive, masochistic relationship with someone named Mistress Olga, who gets off knowing that her partner sits in a human stew of a sweatball all day? Is he wearing saran wrap as underwear?
Sometimes you just have to wonder about a person's backstory.
1 comment:
For the past week Duchess has been wearing these spiffy matching blouse and sweater outfits. Sort of a quasi- uniform from her employer, that Teutonic German organization. She says her office is cold. Whatever! Ice cream isn't even cold, here in the South, this time of year. Gotta wonder what is going on with her and those darn sweaters. I guess a girl can get away with it as 'accessorizing'. But a man? And argyle? Shoot me now!
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