E-mails, e-mails. You never know which direction they'll turn....
X: Did you get a chance to see?
Me: Only a glance. I continued my trek to the bathroom and assumed the fetal position in the back stall.
X: Did you suck your thumb?
Me: Yeah. I wanted to suck my balls, but after fumbling around for a few minutes I remembered I don’t have any.
X: The bad thing about balls and the fetal position on the bathroom floor is that they (the balls) usually stick to the cold tile. Sucks!
Me: Do they have to be recently sucked in order for them to stick?
X: Oh no... They're usually sooo sweaty that they have the necessary moisture to stick to almost anything.
Me: How interesting. Would they stick to a banana?
X: They’d consume it! Especially with it's “blob-like” features during a thumb sucking moment like that... It’s all body temp.
Me: Yikes, they’d consume the banana? Peeling and all? Like Godzilla consumed Japan?
X: Like a slow-moving molasses.
Me: We should sic sweaty balls on all things we wish would disappear. There’s a painting I created 8 or so years ago as a group project with other artists.....it sucked, and I mean hard like a black hole. It is still hanging somewhere with my name on it. Could sweaty balls take care of it for me?
X: Like I said... It’s all about the body temp.
Me: Hmmmmm. Well, that’s about all the conversation I can eek out of sweaty balls. Got anything else to add?
X: Visuals and lab experiments?! Sorry, I’m not totally focused on balls right now. Have you asked others?
Me: No, I reserve sweaty-ball email conversations for you. Oh, wait....Y may have something to add. Y? (I cc'd Y)
X: Oh no you didn’t...?!!
Me: Hey, I’m stressed. It’s OK for stressed people to go a little insane. Perfectly acceptable. Right, Y? (I cc'd Y again)
Later....
Y: As a refined sophisticate, I only partake of perspiration-laced balls, which would never consider temporarily adhering themselves to a frigid surface (other than mine).
Followed by....
Y: As a refined sophisticate, I only go a little insane, which is perfectly acceptable as you so astutely note.
4 comments:
Reminds me of a joke...
What would happen if women had no legs?
They'd leave a snail-trail wherever they went...
Ok...ok....I'm leaving now.
Well, I'm confused still. At the beginning, what was the email that either X sent to you or you both got an email? Why were you heading to the bathroom to assume the fetal position? So many unanswered questions, kind of like "Lost".
The whole post is an e-mail chain between X and me.....and later Y responds to both of us. Hmmmm, I need to practice clarity in my writing, huh?
I was headed to the bathroom because I saw something that disturbed me. :)
Taking the test didn't help me either.
Post a Comment